Do you still believe in Santa Claus?

One would assume not. However, when we were young we may well have done, depending on our upbringing. We believed what we were told, what we read, films we watched and what our parents told us.

One of my favourite Christmas films is Miracle on 34th Street. I love the fact that the premise of the film is to establish whether the belief in Santa Claus is reasonable in a court of law.

Whether the characters in the film believe or not believe in Santa Claus doesn't make either true. As adults we consider the belief in Santa Claus as childish, and over time throughout our childhood, our belief changed.

So, when did this transition happen? When did we, or children we know, start having doubts about the reality of Santa Claus? Was it due to other references that didn't align, the reality of life or others telling us that it was not true? This may have caused embarrassment and insecurity of what we thought we knew.

The fictional character of Santa is a good representation of us changing our beliefs. Yet, for many of us, we still hold onto childhood beliefs that have held us back. If we have been through this process for a fictional character, what has prevented us in doing the same for our negative beliefs that we have taken from childhood into adulthood? Those negative comments made in a school report, or by a person we thought knew more than us at the time.

Our brain in childhood was still developing and we were not capable of processing the comments made to us in a rational way. We therefore took them as truth throughout our lives, without questionning them. Through adulthood we unconsciously, look for evidence that supports the belief (Confirmation Bias) that we were told. Even though evidence can be sought as the counter argument, we often choose to ignore these.

We can, however, use our adult developed brain to change any old limiting beliefs that we have held for years. We can create up to date beliefs that serve us, in achieving all that we desire in life. Belief is a perspective and not truth. Lets use our beliefs to our advantage.

Over the Christmas period, we will be exposed to many versions of Santa Claus through the media. We can use these imagery prompts to reflect on our own beliefs. As we do this, we begin the journey of self awareness, that can lead us to change our thinking into the New Year, which is an ideal time to start believing in ourselves.

Do you believe?!

Thanks as always for ready.

JennyB

Please feel free to subscribe to Jennyb's emails to receive more up to date thoughts and special offers

http://www.jennybcoachinglounge.com

Does change always bring about discomfort?

Most of us do not like change; we are creatures of habit. Change itself can be very uncomfortable. Yet, for some areas of our lives, the discomfort does not stop us from resisting or going through the change.

So, what causes us to make these decisions?

With comfort comes stability, a sense of knowledge, routine, safety, security, and a feeling of being in control. With this, however, can bring a fear of change.

Discomfort can bring new learning, new experiences, growth, confidence, postive self-esteem, achievement, yet often a fear of the unknown, disappointment, and feeling less in control.

So, if we are aware of the pros and cons of both, what prevents us from achieving those things that we really want?

Take a moment to think about your reactions to the following situations and whether you feel comfort, discomfort, or a bit of both:

• Dieting

• Exercise

• Holiday Travel

• Buying new clothes

• A new restaurant

• Taking exams

• Learning to drive

• Quitting smoking

• Getting a new job

• Redundancy

• A new boss

• A new phone or car?
  

Why is it that for some areas we resist or give up on discomfort and for other areas we have the energy to push through? Past disappointments, the lack of immediate results, or the required energy to keep going can influence our decisions.

When we look at others who have achieved success, whether in sport, business, health, music, etc., they no doubt have endured much discomfort, often as a prerequisite to obtaining their significant accomplishments.

Having this awareness can empower us all to endure any discomfort we are faced with and navigate our way through knowing it is part of the process.

It is also worth noting that change can bring about loss, be it short term gratification, familiarity, habits and more. How much are we prepared to lose, to gain the reward? Breaking a habit can be uncomfortable, however, we have created so many in our lives, it is a skill we can keep using to make new helpful ones.

Does the level of desire for what we want have an impact on whether we are prepared to endure any discomfort? Is the severity of the discomfort correlated to the motivation to achieve it?

In addition, if the change has been forced upon us, does this give us more resistance?

Many people are too quick to think or say that if anyone wants change in their life, they just need to get on with it. Having experienced a lot of change myself, I know it isn't as simple as this. However, knowing that a big part of the process is embracing discomfort, has enabled me to navigate through it with a sense of familiarity and hope.

If we all embrace this knowledge, maybe, just maybe, we will have the energy and motivation to keep going, resulting in our comfort zone becoming bigger.

When we next want to make any changes, it is helpful to consider:

Are we prepared to go through the discomfort to achieve our goals, however big or small?

What preparations and support mechanisms can we put in place to help us when we are feeling most vulnerable, to give us the best opportunity for success?

Change is good. Comfort is comfortable; discomfort is life-changing.

Please feel free to subscribe to Jennyb's emails to receive more up to date thoughts and special offers

http://www.jennybcoachinglounge.com

The Irony of Midlife: Does Life really Begin at 40?

Isn't it said that life begins at 40? Yet so many reach this significant age feeling quite lost and despondent. So how can we make sense of this?

Defining a midlife crisis has historically been linked to being someone who got to an age in life, when they started to fear their mortality. To show they were still young, people have bought a sports car, had a tattoo, dyed their hair colour or done something out of character.

Today, we not only see these behaviours, we also recognise this is a significant period of self reflection. We take stock of what we have done, where we are now and what our future looks like. This bring about a transition of our identity and self confidence.

It can be a confusing and quite difficult time, yet how many times have we heard the phrase - life begins at 40?! It seems such a contradictory term, when we hear the difficulties many face. Is that the point? That we go through such a transition that life really does begin at 40? We dont want to waste any future time in doing the things that for so long have held us back?

Elliott Jaques, a Canadian psychoanalyst, was the first to coin the phrase midlife crisis in the 1960's, referring to transition of identity and self-confidence that often occurs around this age. He noted at this time, individuals may have a variety of feelings ranging from intense depression, remorse, high levels of anxiety, the desire to achieve youthfulness, make drastic changes to their current lifestyle or feel the wish to change past decisions and events.

But is it really a crisis? Or is it a natural part of life, a moment of pause before the next big adventure? Maybe it depends on our individual circumstances. Do we have the partner we've always dreamed of, the fulfilling job, the perfect work-life balance, the health we thought? The answer to these questions could shape our perspective.

I remember thinking as a child that I would be married with children at the age of 40 and it wasn't the case. It then caused me to revaluate so many aspects of my life. If I was married with kids and had reached this social norm goal, would I have felt life really was beginning? Or would I have still felt a sense of unease?

Interestingly, the goals and dreams we had when we were younger

a) aren't always what we really want and

b) change as we get older. But how often do we revisit our childhood dreams during our lives?

So how do we reconcile this time within ourselves?

A sudden realisation of our mortality may lead us to create bucket lists and make rash decisions as we contemplate what has held us back from pursuing the passions we feel drawn to.

For women, midlife often coincides with menopause, adding another layer of complexity to the mix, unpicking the nuances of hormonal and mid life feelings and behaviours . How do we distinguish between the natural hormonal changes and the questions about identity and fulfilment?

In this period of uncertainty, one thing is clear: midlife is a journey, not a destination. It's a chance to rediscover ourselves, to embrace change, and to grow. Maybe it's not a crisis after all. Perhaps it's a beautiful, albeit challenging, opportunity for self-discovery.

So, as we reach this stage of our lives whether we are in the midst of what feels like a crisis or simply a period of reflection, we are most certainly not alone. As we embrace the changes, explore our passions, and remember that life – in all its beautiful, messy craziness is an ongoing adventure.

So, where are you right now? Are you feeling excited about what your life has been like so far and where you see it going, or are you feeling anxious, disappointed and want to make changes? If you are feeling in the latter category, consider contacting JennyB who will be able to guide you through this transition period of discovery and together create a tailored plan to achieve the future you desire.

Please feel free to subscribe to Jennyb's emails to receive more up to date thoughts and special offers

http://www.jennybcoachinglounge.com

The irony of midlife: Does life really begin at 40?