Struggling or enjoying January?

January is an unusual time of the year and for some, it can be a real struggle and for others, a time to enjoy the quiet and rest from the madness of December. So why is it that the month can be so polarising?

*The difficulties can be associated with the loss of loved ones or reflecting on past memories. This can make the month especially painful and poignant, equal to other months for those who have experienced such loss. This article is not meant to at all invalidate anyone's experience in this situation, but rather to offer a different perspective on how we might navigate the month, while fully acknowledging the grief and challenges that come with it.

For some of us, January feels like a never-ending 'month of Mondays' - the dreaded start of a long work week where the end seems impossibly far away. Each day feels like a struggle and we're just waiting for the week to be over. In our minds we are thinking, "I hate January" and wish the month would just hurry up and end.

However, for some, January feels more like a 'month of Sundays' - time to slow down, relax and focus on self-care. Recovering from Christmas, eating a little healthier, curling up on the sofa and binge watching our favourite TV series to unwind. A time to reset and recharge before the routine and craziness of the year starts again.

What causes some of us to feel one way about January while others experience it differently? And who’s actually making the most of the month? I believe it all comes down to our mindset. How we choose to view January is completely our choice.

I personally love January. Many years ago, I decided to change how I viewed the month, and now I see it as a time for myself. Of course, everyone experiences Christmas differently but for me December is a very social time. So, I use January to recover from the hectic month, take time out to rest and hibernate.. I balance out the eating and drinking from December to chilling and eating healthily and preparing for what the year ahead has in store.

By changing our perspective however, takes effort, but the impact can be truly transformative. As Albert Einstein famously said, 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results' So if we want to change how we see and experience January, we need to try something different. For some, this can feel daunting, especially if past attempts at change have petered out.

*Day 19 of any change is often the day a lot of people give up. The initial motivation has waned and the results are not fully realised. Consistent daily repetition is the most important factor in making a behaviour automatic. On average, it takes about 66 days to form a new habit, and for many, that can feel like a long time.

So, how can we change our mindset? A good start is whenever a thought comes into our mind, such as 'I hate January,' is to recognise it. This is self-awareness.

Once we recognise the thought, we can then change the statement e.g. 'I actually quite like January.' Even if, at the time, we don't believe it, the key is to keep going. The new thinking will eventually change automatically and we will start to observe a shift in our behaviour and mindset. This tool can be used for any negative thought we want to change.

As we all navigate through January, whether it feels like a month of Mondays or a month of Sundays is, in many ways a choice we make. Embracing a mindset shift can transform this time of year into a rejuvenating period of self-discovery and preparation for the months and year ahead. It can also kickstart a broader mindset change in many other areas of our lives as we we begin to see the positive effects of approaching challenges differently.

How do you see January? Is it a month of Mondays or a month of Sundays for you? Is it time to make a change if your mindset? If you would like any further information on this, please contact JennyB.

Thanks as always for reading.

JennyB

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Mind Your Language

How often were we told as children to 'mind our language,' yet were also told: 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me?' It seemed such a contradiction. So do words hold power and does our language matter?

The reality is, words do matter. Both the ones spoken to us and the ones we say to ourselves. Yet when do we decide what to take in and what to let go of? Often, amongst plenty of positivity, one negative comment stands out, capturing our attention and overshadowing everything else. Why do we let this happen? It’s a destructive cycle - one that’s tricky to break.

It’s not just about what others say to us (whether to our faces or behind our backs) It’s also about our self-talk. How often do we listen to the positive internal dialogue compared to the negative? For many people the critical inner voice can dominate their thinking.

This internal dialogue often spills into our conversations. We may disguise it as humour, self-deprecation, or low self-esteem - especially in British culture. Do we actually believe what we’re saying? Sadly often, the answer is yes. These thoughts can then create limiting beliefs: I can’t do that. I’m not good enough. That’s for someone else, not people like me.

What we think about ourselves shapes the language we use, which in turn reinforces our beliefs and behaviours. It is like a self-fulfilling prophecy or in today's terminology 'manifesting.' If this is the case, surely we would want to use positive language to break free our limiting beliefs?

So what if we changed the way we spoke to and about ourselves? Could it lead to a better life? Could shifting our language create positive changes in how we see ourselves and the world around us? Could it help us step into the person we truly want to be, using our skills and resources to their fullest potential?

Leslie Cameron-Bandler and Rodger Bailey, pioneers of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), once said, 'People who use the same language patterns in their speech have the same behaviours.' If that is true, changing our words could be the first step toward changing our behaviours and, ultimately, our lives.

It can start with small steps. As we notice unhelpful words or phrases, we can intentionally replace them with positive ones. Over time, this process can transform both our internal and external dialogue, leading to meaningful change. These small things can have a big impact.

Personally, I’ve become much more conscious of the language I use about myself. This awareness has shifted how I see myself and the opportunities that are now available to me.

I would challenge those of you that have taken the time to read this, to consider what language you are using now, that isn't helpful and you want to start replacing? Give yourself the time and kindness you need to make those subtle changes and see what differences they make.

Mind your language!

Thanks as always for reading

JennyB

jennybcoachinglounge.com

Can you see the Emperors New Clothes?

Have you ever seen the latest craze (often endorsed by a celebrity) that you thought looked terrible, only to watch it quickly catch on everywhere? Or heard a song constantly playing on the radio that you can’t stand, yet it keeps climbing the charts?

I know I have, and in other areas such as politics, religion, company culture, and much more. Often, we’re drawn into ideas we haven’t fully questionned or explored for ourselves. Yet when we do question them, we may remain silent out of fear of embarrassment, standing out, or not wanting to feel like the odd one out.

I’ve been in so many meetings throughout my working life, where people want to ask a question, but fearing they will seem uneducated or “stupid,” they choose to stay silent. When someone is brave enough to speak up, a collective sense of relief often fills the room. While facilitators often say, “There are no stupid questions,” attendees know that there can be judgment for asking what’s considered an “obvious” question.

Have you ever read The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen?

'The tale tells of an emperor who is obsessed with fancy clothes and spends lavishly on them, neglecting state matters in the process.

One day, two con men visit the emperor's capital. Posing as weavers, they offer to create magnificent clothes for him that are invisible to those who are incompetent or stupid.

The gullible emperor hires them, and they set up looms, pretending to weave. A succession of officials, starting with the emperor's wise and competent minister, and then culminating with the emperor himself, visit to check their progress. Each sees the empty looms but pretends otherwise, fearing they will appear foolish.

Finally, the weavers announce that the emperor’s suit is finished. They mime dressing him, and he sets off in a procession before the entire city. The townspeople reluctantly go along with the pretence, not wanting to appear inept or foolish, until a child blurts out that the emperor is wearing nothing at all. The people then realize they’ve all been fooled. Although startled, the emperor continues the procession, walking more proudly than ever. The fate of the con men remains unknown.' (Source: Wikipedia)

The story’s characters each play a key role:

The Emperor

A prideful ruler obsessed with fancy clothes, whose vanity and fear of appearing foolish lead him to buy the non-existent suit and parade around in nothing but his undergarments.

The Weavers

Two con men who trick the emperor into believing they can create a suit invisible to the incompetent or foolish, exploiting his pride and vanity.

The Entourage

The emperor's entourage, too proud to admit they see nothing, praise the non-existent suit to avoid being labelled as fools.

The Child

The child who breaks the illusion by shouting out that the emperor is, in fact, wearing nothing at all.

If you were a character in the story, who would you be, and who would you want to be?

Have you ever felt too afraid to speak out or challenge the norm in a situation you were in?

The Emperor’s New Clothes is a timeless tale that explores themes of self-deception, conformity, and obedience to authority.

Who do you want to be?

In the future, if you disagree with something that’s not considered popular, will you remain silent, or will you speak out? Do you have the bravery to step out of your comfort zone and live authentically?

If you would like to discuss this further, please contact JennyB, who would be happy to help in any way she can.

Thank you, as always for reading.

JennyB

jennybcoachinglounge.com